I have officially finished The X-Files
major spoilers for the show, p.s., in case anyone wants to watch it blindly
Well, at least the TV show. I still have I Want to Believe to watch, which I am saving for the weekend when I can watch it plus the hours of special features I got with my super X-Phile nerd edition while drinking Alien Blood (green apple schnapps and sprite). I'm savoring it, it's going to be an epic end to my first and virginal X-Files run. I've already started re-watching it and squealing about their awkward, first interactions. They're totally biffles sixteen minutes in to the first episode when Mulder asks Scully if she wants to go for a run with him at 4 AM and she laughs.
Here are some things that I have theorized, realized, or learned from and about The X-Files
EVERYONE IS CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN'S CHILD
So when they first started hinting at the fact that Mulder was CSM's son, I was intrigued. I thought, "How perfect that this angel from heaven's father is the cigarette smoking devil!" And then there starts to be this whole shit show of allusions to Samantha being his daughter/adopted daughter/ward and then our buddy Jeffrey enters the picture and it was at this moment that I concluded that LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW IS HIS CHILD. (p.s. the people at the bottom are, from left to right, Diana Fucker Fowley, Krycek, Marita, Skinner, and Frohike)
Except for Scully. He just wants to bang Scully.
EVERYONE IS IMMORTAL (or a cat)
Seriously. S E R I O U S L Y. The first time Cigarette Smoking Man died, I didn't really believe he was dead. I was sure he'd come back like Wiley Coyote. Sure enough, I was right. Then he died again. And I was pretty damn sure he was actually dead this time. BUT HE WAS NOT DEAD, HE WAS STILL ALIVE AND HANGING OUT IN NEW MEXICO PROBABLY SMOKING POT THROUGH HIS TRACHEOTOMY AND LISTENING TO GRATEFUL DEAD (based on his haircut). His case is the most extreme, but let's not forget about our favorite duo Mulds and Sculls (both of whom have at their fair shares of near death or death experiences and lived to tell the tale). Also, all of the informants show up again. Despite the fact that they might have died five seasons earlier.
And don't get me started on Krycek. Speaking of Krycek...
KRYCEK IS DESPERATELY IN LOVE WITH MULDER
The looks that Krycek gives Mulder are full of passion. When they first meet, Krycek just keeps glancing at Mulder the way that he would usually gaze at Scully, and there are quite a few times in the infamous speedo scene where Krycek can be seen checking out Mulder's package. When he realizes that Mulder is still bff with Sculls, he flips his shit and gets her abducted by aliens/military/I still don't fucking know. But Mulder still won't date him. Which is why he goes rogue and starts being the most impressively versatile man in all of X-Files. (Also I bet his heart leapt with excitement when a) Mulder handcuffed him to the balcony and b) when he got to kiss Mulder on the cheek instead of kill him).
KRYCEK IS BEHIND EVERYTHING EVER AND HAS THE MOST IMPRESSIVE RESUME EVER
I am always so in awe by Krycek. Maddie once made a comment that he is like the Cheshire Cat in that he shows up, gives some bad advice, and then disappears. I agree. He shows up OUT OF NOWHERE, usually from some batshit insane situation like a PRISON IN GOD KNOWS WHERE or a parking garage, and then does the most random tasks. My favorite is when he was in a situation where he seemed fucked, like when he was vomiting up black oil all over a spaceship and then was trapped in some random barn silo, and then suddenly he's become a chauffeur for the syndicate EVEN THOUGH THEY TRIED TO KILL HIM WITH A CAR BOMB JUST A FEW EPISODES AGO! What the Hell? Even though I hate him (HATE HIM), I also think he's pretty badass. In a super cowardly way. I love when Jeffrey pussies out of killing some alien and so Krycek has to emerge from the shadows directly behind the alien with an alien killing syringe and then stabs him in the back of the neck like a fucking NINJA.
DANNY IS THE TRUE HERO OF THE X-FILES
Danny is probably the most popular guy at the FBI. But he is also probably the one who has the worst personal life too. Especially since that damn X-Files office keeps calling him to trace calls that always end up at some phone booth on a stretch of deserted highway. Or sometimes he's asked to translate binary code.
Have I mentioned lately how much I love this show? I LOVE this show you guys. I'll update with some more revelations/lessons/pictures once I get the hang of school and have more time.
On a different note, today has been so good. Seriously, this has been such a good day <3
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