Friday, June 24, 2011

the tale of the restorative spring

Still no pictures, but I really want to tell this story because it makes me happy and I've been a little bit down as of late.

We had gotten the okay from our professor to wander where we would, to explore unknown territories in search of birds that would supply us with grooming behavior. The professor had given me a map of popular birding areas in Southeastern Arizona, which was basically my bible during the entire course. I studied it and decided that the first place we should go was Patagonia Sonoita Creek Reserve first thing in the morning.

The next day, Scott and I woke up bright and early and headed out in our trusty white van, the Crafty Warbler. We discovered along the way that the reserve was literally seven miles from the Mexican border. There was a line of hills, and then there was Mexico. We were basically in Mexico. It took awhile to find the reserve, mostly because we were being assholes. We saw a huge sign that just had binoculars on it, which we thought was hilarious. Who the hell even knows what that means? Binocular store over yonder! For all your binocular needs! I have many of those needs. Well it turns out that that's where we should have turned for the reserve. We reached our destination after backtracking twice and arrived at a desolate expanse of field with a trailer and a lone concrete building parked in front of what looked like acres of forest.



The deal was that, for a donation based purely on honor code, you could spend all day in this paradise. And it really was paradise. The forest was absolutely alive with several species of birds, the air thick with song. There were four different habitats crammed into the area: the desert scrub and gnarled mesquite trees where curve-billed thrashers were abundant (and yet we still didn't get enough data from them), the cool and lush forest filled with giant oaks, the shaded coniferous hollows, and the riparian corridor. As we started on the six mile loop, we were upbeat and positive. We started out in the desert habitat, picking our way around the thorny, well-protected desert plants and observing the warblers hopping above us in the canopy. The day grew later and the sun grew stronger. I realized that I had stupidly forgotten to fill my water bottle, so the remaining three ounces I tried to preserve as we began to sweat and itch. Our throats were cracked on both of us were feeling fairly irritable, considering that we had gotten absolutely no data because the birds were either too well hidden to observe grooming or they simply were not sitting still long enough. We reached the oaks and felt relief from the sudden burst of sunlight. We started seeing more grooming activity, enough to boost our spirits somewhat. I gave Scott the last bit of my water, since I'm a human camel (or like to think that I am) and felt like I could go without. We encountered a few other birders who told us that they had seen javelinas, a mother and her babies, just a few moments ago. We heard them crashing through the underbrush, but unfortunately did not see them.

We exited the oak forest, excited due to our 43 seconds of preening data from a bridled titmouse, and encountered a large, golden field. As we cautiously walked into the open (I always think of Bambi before I enter an open space), a Vermillion Flycatcher flew to the signpost a few feet in front of us. I had just been talking about how I wanted to see one only minutes ago, so I spazzed a little bit in excitement. They're one of my favorite birds.



The picture isn't mine, but gorgeous right? We watched this male and his female flit around the field for a good half hour as we rested in some shade, reclining in the tall grass. The area is known for its Gray Hawk population as well, which is another beautiful bird.



As we were sitting there, we saw some huge, black silhouettes swooping down toward some trees surrounded our clearing. Scott lunged for the binoculars around my neck, practically strangling me as he pulled them to his eyes and exclaimed, "I THINK THEY'RE GRAY HAWKS" However, the hawks had already dispersed by the time he got around to giving my back the binos. Typical.

We resumed our journey around the loop and reached the riparian corridor, which was arguably the best part of the entire place. We reached a concrete overhang that overlooked a large portion of what would have been the creek during the wet season. Still feeling exhausted and overheated, we rested again in the shade of the tall aspens and watched two stink bugs mate and then become trapped in a spider web. Tragic. The cool part about the riparian corridor was that, since it was not an actual creek, it was just a river of bright green flowing through the sages and yellows of the surrounding plant life. We concluded that it was coming from a ground-spring, a well of water directly below the ground the supplied it with fresh, untainted water from the earth. It flowed through the trees and ran adjacent to the pathway leading around the loop. After trying to catch some lizards and watching the stink bugs some more, we decided we should probably resume trying to gather some data.

We waltzed down the pathway, feeling a little bit better due to our rests, but still incredibly dehydrated. We gathered a little bit more data before I was distracted by the spring peeping through the trees, tempting me. I was really wondering if there was actual water pooling at the roots of the curly, green plants, or if it was simply mud. I slipped off my shoes and stepped into the green and immediately felt COMPLETELY refreshed. There was a good foot of cool, clear water slowly trickling through the bright greenery.







I wanted to show that the water was throwing glimmering stars of light around.

Ridiculous grins slowly spread across both our faces as we waded in the water. It felt so unbelievably good in contrast with the hot sun and the fact that we were both, at this point, delirious with dehydration (seriously, we just giggled for a good chunk of time between 11 AM and 4 PM). We waded in it for awhile, marveling at how good we felt and how much we wanted to just trek through the creek to watch birds. We eventually decided to exit the creek and continue down the trail. After we got out of the spring, we were both flabbergasted at how good we felt. We were both doing nothing but smiling as soon as we resumed our walk and got more data. We were both amazed and concluded that the spring had restorative powers. We saw another open patch further down the way and waded in that as well. Scott dared me to drink the water, considering that it was clean and straight from the ground. I took my chances, cupped my hands, and drank straight from the stream. It was so cool. We more grudgingly left this time around, and the next time I saw an opportunity to leap into the stream and did it more out of necessity than anything else, beelining straight into the water.

We finally reached the end of the loop and left to get some much needed food and water. Cue us ending up at a hole in the wall cowboy bar seated beneath the best painting I have ever seen in my life. It involved a woman bathing in a tiny metal tub (which resulted in us discussing the best way one would bathe in such a tub), with a mexican man looking through her open window. Leering at her. Framed in a bamboo frame. EPIC.

On the way back from the reserve, we were stopped by border patrol. We had debated purchasing ponchos and sombreros to commemorate our journey to basically Mexico, but were glad we didn't. Also we were glad we didn't steal the aforementioned painting and hide it in some drug hiding panel in our car.

That day was so amazing, it makes me grin just thinking about it. We had so many awesome adventures.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

friday frolics

WARNING: THERE ARE PICTURES OF BLOOD AND GUTS IN THIS POST

Friday was spent mostly working, but the fun kind of working.

The kind where you get to cut open pigeons.









I think the heart is so cute in miniature. When I first found the aorta I had a sort of spasm of excitement.

We dissect out the liver, heart, and spleen (which is so hard to find sometimes) and weigh them to see if there is engorgement in response to the presence of fly antigens. We also take lung smears and breast tissue samples in case anyone else wants to see if there are other endoparasites. We usually just dissect the birds in the lab (which makes sense, considering it's a LAB), but yesterday as I was dissecting, one of my PIs yanked out my iphone earbud and hissed into my ear that an inspector was there and she didn't want him to see a half mutilated bird body on the map table. So I had to stop mid-dissection and stuff the pigeon into the freezer before the inspector could see it. A little bit sketch, but I'll finish them on Monday.

I felt like Scully when I was doing the dissections, which thrills me :D





After dissections, I went out into the field again! One of the graduate students is doing a project on parasitic larvae that infest the nests of Yellow-Headed Blackbirds, so she asked me if I wanted to go out to Farmington Bay (wetlands just half an hour away from Salt Lake) with her and another professor that studies bird song. Even though it was for four hours on a Friday night, I still said YES because I love it. Farmington Bay was AMAZING. I didn't bring my camera because I wanted to be professional the first time I went out into the field, but I got the okay to bring my camera next time :D



The lighting was beautiful. Everything was washed with gold and pink, the ochre turned various hues of magenta, the water was glimmering, there was a slight breeze, and there were birds EVERYWHERE. We first stationed ourselves near the water's edge and watched the cattails for signs of females feeding nestlings. We used a lab-raised male to draw in other males that were pissed off that someone was in their territory so we could band them and bleed them. As we hiked around looking for nests, we saw about twenty five species of birds. My mom and I are probably going back next weekend to birdwatch, so hopefully there will be more pictures from that outing as well. All I can say is go at sunset, because the combination of the water, the vegetation, and the birdsong is magical. It got a little chilly after the sun set completely, and the birds were fairy inactive at that point, so we headed out at about 9:30. At that point I was delirious with hunger so I called up Maddie and Kit and we went to ye old Village Inn for our usual fare.

Last night was AWESOME because we played this amazing drinking game with our favorite show ever, X-FILES. The night was spent eating pizza, drinking, laying out on the back porch, and watching X-Files and Southpark. All in all, an awesome Saturday night. Now it's FATHER'S DAY and I'm off to make Reese's Blondies for my dad.

Monday, June 13, 2011

the tale of the beauty rush killer

At Santa Rita Experimental Range, our group stayed in three separate houses. The students all stayed in the newly remodeled bunk house (which is what I stayed in two years ago), our PI/instructor stayed in his own cabin up the hill (which had muddy bear claw prints stamped across the door...on the INSIDE), and the TAs plus myself all stayed in a decaying cabin next to the bunk house called Martin House. It was composed of a living room with a tiny kitchen attached to the side of it, one bathroom, a large bedroom, and a split bedroom that included a sun porch. Jen called the single bedroom, leaving Scott and I to squabble over who got the sun porch and who got the actual room. In the end, I convinced him to sleep in the sun room because a) it was absolutely full of spiders and b) he was the noob on the course. I definitely got the longer stick in this case, considering that his blanket of spiders was incredibly creepy to me ("If my face gets chewed off by spiders tonight, I'm going to be really upset" - direct quote) and also his room flooded with sunlight at 5 AM every morning.

As we were unpacking that first night, Jen discovered something terrifying in her room. She was opening the drawers of the dresser stationed in her room, looking for someplace to hide her flask, when she found a truly creepy combination of items.



A SKI MASK AND LIP STICK. WHAT?????

Immediately we began concocting all sort of horror story scenarios. We were absolutely sure that the mask belonged to a serial killer who put lipstick/lip gloss/chapstick on his victims before he murdered them. We then had to decide what to do with our newfound knowledge. It was a heavy burden, realizing that there was a serial killer loose in Madera Canyon and he was most likely coming back to reclaim his lost items.



At first Jen just wanted to throw it all away, but I retrieved the items from the trash and instead hung the mask on the doorknob with the lip gloss stored safely inside. We decided that this way the serial killer could see that the mask was conveniently placed outside of the house, making it so he didn't actually have to enter our abode and kill us all. Or rather, Jen and I, because Scott told us that there's a guy "kill code" stating that guys can't kill other guys in serial killer movies. So just Jen and I would be murdered.

The rest of the night was spent giggling and making up ridiculous/awesome scenarios with our serial killer friend. The lip gloss found with the ski mask was Beauty Rush brand, and I innocently remarked that I had the same color at home. Immediately Jen and Scott gasped and both stated that I had to fucked myself over and I was gonna die. We dubbed him the Beauty Rush Killer that very moment.



He creeps into women's rooms at night and shushes them as he lovingly puts lipstick/lip gloss/chapstick (we really couldn't decide) on their lips. Scott did a really great/terrifying impression of him going, "Shshsh, not gonna hurt ya". Thinking about it now makes me laugh really hard, I wish I had recorded it. That night was really windy and the windowpanes right by my bed were slamming against the wall since they weren't bolted down. Basically it was the worst night ever to have just found a ski mask and lipstick in the next room over and to have discussed serial killers for the past several hours. So we kind of freaked out a little and kept giggling nervously as we tried not to really think about serial killers, even though it was hilarious and scary all in one. Lots of shshshing and talking about PVC-pipe contraptions that could put chapstick on someone through a window later, we finally fell asleep despite the loud bangings of the window and our giggle-fits.

Scott promised that there was only a 87% chance that he would try to scare Jen and I that night.



And it happened several more times after that. He also scratched at Jen's door a lot.

Best roommate ever.

We also decided that the Beauty Rush Killer had probably buried his previous victims underneath our kitchen because the kitchen smells RANCID. It was a combination of rotten eggs, methane, and in general DEATH every time I had to cook something in that room.

Jen has a bunch of pictures of us freaking out over the mask and lipstick, putting it on the door, and creeping on each other which I may post when she gives them to me. SO FUNNY

Friday, June 10, 2011

i want to believe

My life has been consumed by X-Files.

And these beautiful people.



As much as I'm in love with Mulder, I still want him to be only with Scully. I've become a fangirl.







Damn, boy

Monday, June 6, 2011

i'm sick and at work

...and also I still have no pictures to make other posts with so I'll probably end up drawing out ridiculous comics about everything. People like that right?

Are you mad at anyone right now?
Not really. Well, maybe one person.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
I took pictures with Elyse yesterday at the Pride Parade. Which was so fun, by the way!

Are you wearing a ring, if so who gave it to you?
I usually don't wear rings just because a lot of rings don't fit any finger but my ring finger on my left hand, and that sort of creeps me out so I usually avoid rings altogether. Unless it's my skull ring that I wear in October. That one I purchased with Alice and Gillian.

Do you like the dentist?
No. But my parents still schedule appointments for me (because I'm an adult) so I go twice a year.

Do you have trust issues?
No. I will trust anyone and everything.

What is bothering you?
A boy. Also money issues because I'm not sure if I'll have my lab job or not in the fall and the fact that I know people who have been looking for jobs for months is making me antsy.

Is it okay for someone you’re dating to date someone else?
Um no.

What is the newest addition to your wardrobe?
I bought a skirt for a dollar yesterday that has POCKETS and I'm never going back.

What color shirt were you wearing when you had your last kiss?
Purple?

Will your ex read this?
I have no exes, thus...probably.

Does it bother you when people respond to a text with one word?
Only when I'm trying to strike up a conversation when I'm bored.
Me: Hey how are you? I haven't seen you in forever, we should hang out! I saw a moose the other day, so cool. I love the ocean. What's up?
Someone: Sure.

And then I weep.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox today?
Maddie, Natal, and Gabe

What are you listening to?
The printer

What are you wearing?
Dark wash jean shorts, flip flops, and a grey tank top with purple and blue flowers on it. Word.

Do you have someone who is protective of you?
Yes. Maybe. idk.

Who’s the last person you facebook IMed?
Probably Maddie because I like to beguile her with pointless tales and updates on my emotions pertaining to either X-files or just life. Generally.

It’s 1 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Any of my friends, but most likely Maddie.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a C?
Hahhahaha yes

Let’s say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
It wouldn't matter to me.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Yeah.

What’d your first text of the day say?
What does the sign say?

Do you like who you are?
For the most part. I'm always striving to make it better

Do you hate it when people try to play with your hair?
I don't hate it, but I have a really tender head so I prefer it if only I touch my hair unless I have prepared to have my hair done by someone else.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
I've debated it. I'm not sure yet though.

Are you sober?
Yeah, I started drinking last night and immediately had to throw up so I'm going to be sober until this weird illness goes away.

Is there anyone you trust 100%?
Yes :)

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
Probably?

Is the person you last texted single?
Yes.

What color is your favorite bra?
Hot pink with flowers on it. Sexay.

Have you ever been used?
Yes.

What do you think of red lipstick?
I like it for extravagant things, but I'm not really a lipstick wearing person.

Do you ever leave the house without make up?
Pretty much always.

What is your natural hair color?
Brown

Has anyone ever sung to you?
My life is a musical.

When was the last time you spent the night at someone else’s place?
I spent the night at my old apartment a week ago, and now I've moved back into my parents' place, and I was living in Arizona temporarily before that, so I'm not really sure how to answer this question.

Was that someone of the same or opposite sex?
Both.

Do you feel like anyone is playing mind games with you right now?
No.

You’re thinking about someone, aren’t you?
Of course I'm thinking about someone.

Describe your last disappointment:
I built up what I thought was going to happen between myself and the guy I like and it didn't happen (obviously, because my fantasy was ridiculous). But it was still disappointing to me.

Which do you think is a gesture of true love: fighting for somebody or letting them go?
Fighting.

What are/were you doing at twelve this afternoon?
It's only 11:50. And I'm at work pretending to read papers, but really I'm doing this. I'm a failure at life today.

If you had to be a teacher, what subject would you be able to teach best?
Biology or English probably. Or art, haha.

Do you ever bite your lip?
I bite my lower lip A LOT when I'm concentrating or bored.

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
Hate diet soda. I believe in small amounts of real soda or soda with cane sugar. Or not at all.

Are you wearing a necklace?
Nope.

Do you like to sleep?
I hate sleeping. Just kidding, I love it.

What is the closest thing to you that is blue?
Flowers on my shirt. I promise I'm not super obsessed with flowers or anything.

Do you listen to music when you’re down?
I listen to wistful slow songs about lost love and shit. Like Red Hot Chile Peppers.

Do you want to see somebody right now?
Yes.

Will you be in a relationship any time soon?
Hahahaahhahhaha

Do you cry easily?
I cry REALLY easily.

What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
21st birthday!!!!!

Has any one said they love you in the last week?
Yes.

Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger?
Yeah, but I always throw it onto something soft, like my bed, so that it won't break.

Do you act differently around the person you like?
No, which is the best part about it.

Have you ever kissed someone with tattoos?
No.

Who was the first person to text you on your birthday?
I don't remember, it was almost a year ago.

Are you tired?
Yeah, I'm sick so all I want to do is go back to bed.

Do you think things will change in the next few months?
I don't know. I might have to start looking for a new job, I'll try to move out of my parents' basement...so probably yes. Hopefully for the better though.

What were you doing at 1 AM this morning?
I was sleeping. Hardcore!

Do you have an older brother? I have two.
No, only a younger brother.

Is there anyone you can go to when you need help?
I go to my graduate student in the lab or my parents. I also ask advice of all my friends, especially Natal.

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
Probably.

Have you physically hurt the last person you kissed?
I don't think so, but I am fairly violent.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months or more?
I think probably so.

Ever been called baby?
Yeah.

Are you a loud person?
Hahaha yeah, especially when I get really excited.

Are you ticklish?
REALLY ticklish, especially my knees.

Monday, May 30, 2011

the tale of the elegant trogan

It was nearing the end of our two week venture, and our stay at the Santa Rita Experimental Range. As I've said before (numerous times, I bet everyone's sick of hearing about it), SRER is located in Florida Canyon, which is just next door to the more well-known Madera Canyon. Madera Canyon is especially popular for its hosting of one particular bird: the Elegant Trogan.



These birds are found in Mexico, but a few of them make their way up into Madera Canyon to nest in the spring. Birders from around the world come to Madera Canyon to see the Elegant Trogan, and it's considered a "lifer" if you see it (aka a bird that one can put on their life list that is a major accomplishment for a birder). Even though they are not altogether rare in their native land of South American, they're a big deal to see here in the United States, and many hardcore birders make pilgrimages to Madera Canyon just to see one.

The morning of our last data collection outing, Jen (one of the other TAs) had gone on a hike to see the nesting area of one known male Elegant Trogan that was in the area. She climbed a mile up steep, rocky terrain to find him perched on top of a dead stump, perfectly situated for pictures. She'd luckily brought along her nice camera, so she took several photos before a dumbass from South Dakota screamed to his wife that he had found the bird, prompting it to take off. I was absolutely astounded when she told me later that she had seen the Elegant Trogan. It's a prize for any birder, a sign that one is serious about the sport and almost like star power in Mario: it makes you invincible. Just kidding, I'm overreacting, but it is really cool and many hardcore birders will get pissed if you joke about something as serious as seeing an Elegant Trogan if you have never actually seen one before (I learned this the hard way two years ago when I jokingly told two psycho birders that I'd seen an Elegant Trogan in the tree I was looking at. They berated me and stared me down icily when they discovered it was just a Brown Crested Flycatcher). I was determined to also see the Elegant Trogan while I was in Arizona.

The next morning I opted to sleep in instead of wake up with the rest of the group and hike up the mountain. I felt a little angry with myself for doing that, especially when I found out that all ten of my compatriots had seen the male and female just ten minutes up the canyon. I begged Scott (the other TA) to take me the next morning (he basically had to drive me everywhere because I can't drive the school vans until I'm 21, thus making me feel like an infant or an incredibly elderly person). He agreed. Unfortunately, that night we stayed up until midnight drinking beers, so we literally felt like we were dying the next morning as we dragged ourselves out of bed at five AM. Scott muttered something about setting Jen's laptop (whose desktop background was her picture of the Trogan) on a stump in order to placate me so we could pretend that we'd seen the Trogan and instead go back to bed. We did eventually get out to the van and we made our way to Madera Canyon.

Twenty minutes later, we were hiking up the trail with the directions Jen had given us implanted fuzzily in our minds ("Go up straight for about a mile, but at some point the trail will take a hard left...but don't go up that way, just keep going straight. You're going to see a couple of big rocks, but not BIG, BIG rocks, so don't waste your time until you see this HUGE rock and that is the one that the Trogan is nesting by. Oh don't worry, you'll find it.") We hiked in silence until, about half a mile up, we saw a group of old men gathered around a grizzly, bearded fellow with an Indiana Jones hat on. This was clearly the old men's birding guide, and they were also looking for the Trogan. For a moment we stopped, sure that the reason the group in front of us had stopped was because they'd seen the Trogan. Our hopes that our hike had been cut short were shot, however, because they had simply stopped to rest. We continued on.

I struggled up the remaining mile (I am embarrassingly out of shape, at the moment) and finally we reached what looked like the large rock Jen had told us about. We examined every stump we could find around it, hoping to see where the female might have built her nest. We could not find it. Suddenly, we heard what sounded like the distant bark of a toy poodle up the canyon. It was the Trogan. Scott and I glanced at each other, wondering if we should hike up the canyon or if we should stay put. The Trogan call sounded again, farther away this time.

For two minutes, I was the most upset girl in the world. I was angry with myself for not having gotten up the previous morning to see the Trogan with everybody else, and for having gotten up so early this particular morning for what seemed like nothing. We sat down, hoping that maybe the Trogan would return to his nest. The group of older men joined us at this point, their guide informing us that it sounded like the Trogan was getting closer. Just as we struck up a small conversation with them about our field work, the male flew into view.



They are amazingly colored. Males have a bright, cherry-red breast with a small white line separating the upper and lower halves. Their backs are a deep evergreen, and their beaks are bright yellow. They look really Christmasy. The bottoms of their tails have a really cool barring pattern. Basically it was amazing. He gave us a spectacular frontal view for a brief few seconds and then swooped to his nesting cavity (which we'd totally missed in our previous search) and then spent a couple of minutes calling for any females in the surrounding area to join him at his bachelor pad. My favorite moment was when he popped into his cavity so he was out of sight, but he kept calling to his lady friends. It made it sound like his call was echoing. The persistence of his calls worked for a second, a female swooped into join him. She was tan instead of the deep emerald of the male, and only stayed for a minute before rejecting him to find another male. After this, he stopped calling so persistently and instead flew to a branch in a tree just below his cavity. He stayed there for the rest of our time in the upper reaches of the canyon, allowing us to drink in his presence. One of the old men, clearly bursting with happiness, said that he was full of pride at having the will to continue his hike, despite his desire to turn back due to fatigue, so that he could see the Elegant Trogan. Scott and I were both touched by this and kept talking about how cute the old men were and how we wanted to take them home. They were all so adorable and excited about seeing the Trogan. The guide shared interesting information with us (though I'm having trouble remembering what exactly it was...) and kept calling the Trogan the Trog-awn. It was strange.

Eventually, it had been twenty minutes and the Trogan was still there. The guide said, "It's a good day when you can turn your back on a Trogan", which we did and started to hike back down the canyon. I'm so glad we got to see it, it was an amazing experience. Plus, it's cool to have done something at age twenty that some people wait their entire lives to do. I'm really grateful that Scott took the time to take me to see the Trogan, because even though he claims it's just so he can rub it in one of our other grad student's faces (which is also probably true), I know he also did it to make me happy.



I have other stories to share from Arizona, specifically two other larger tales and then a post full of short stores/comics. I'm still waiting on pictures for those, however, so in the meantime I will ruin it all by saying that I spent all day today analyzing the data I was collecting in Arizona and, unfortunately, it looks like nothing significant is going on. So that means it is probably not publishable. We'll do one last test to see if we can glean something from it, but mostly it is just not enough data. I'm not sorry though, I still learned a ton about field work, science, and myself. I changed in Arizona, not a lot, but enough. And I hope that it won't dissipate.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

thoughts

The stress in my life right now is getting to a point where I know it's going to flatline and I'll become normal again. Or as normal as I'll ever be. In the past week upon returning home from Arizona, I've had to attend my brother's baptism/confirmation, start packing so that I can move into my parents' house for the summer (to save on money and to escape my roommate situation), begin working in the lab again and figure out what hours go into one project and what hours are poured into another project, and try to also have a social life as well. I felt so busy and overwhelmed that I cancelled all plans I had for last night just so I could sit by myself in my room.

But when I was eventually alone, I was actually really lonely. I thought I would relish my time sitting in my room (considering I'll be leaving it in a few short days) where I could watch whatever I wanted on Netflix and either write, draw, or just mull. Well, I might not want to mull considering that things I continuously mull over, which right now just make me heartsick. I discovered that I would rather be in the company of others doing any of those things. So even though being alone can, now and again, be rather peaceful and needed, I've found that lately it's better for me to be around people. Because I love people and think that they are all pretty great, for the most part.

Tonight was one of my best friend's bachelorette party, and although it was not as rowdy as some of them get, it was still rather fun. We ate delicious food, played fun games, and I brought "mocktails" (no alcohol allowed) like shirley temples and screwdrivers. All in all, it was a fun night. Tomorrow I'm going out to see The Hangover Part Two with both old friends and new friends. I'm also moving out a majority of my stuff tomorrow to (hopefully) storage and my parents' house. I'm currently stressing over whether I should give the guy I like a little inside joke gift before he leaves for the Philippines for the entire summer.

Basically I just have a really good (albeit anxiety-driven) life right now. And I should always remember that.

Summery things I'm excited for



swimming



sundresses every day



iced tea



watermelon



outdoor concert series



being outdoors



So excited. What I'm working on right now is making myself realize that being skinny will not solve all of my life problems. Though right now, social media and human pressure is certainly trying to tell me that it will.

[p.s. I stole all pictures in this post from weheartit.com]