pie 'n beer day

Pioneer Day, or Pie 'n Beer Day, is a Utah-only holiday that celebrates the day the pioneers found this desert wasteland and turned it into a city rife with ridiculous alcohol laws and outdoor malls with dress codes. Usually there are HUGE celebrations within the city, involving extravagant parades, fairs, and free events in our scattered non-profit organizations. Instead of getting involved in any of those things, however, my brother and I decided to head up to Lagoon as our combined birthday presents to each other. Getting there was a NIGHTMARE because of the aforementioned parades blocking every main street downtown, dashing our hopes of ever getting to the freeway. Finally, after an hour, we managed to get on the freeway and begin our exciting journey to Lagoon.

Once we got there, we decided to go on all the big rides first. I'd not been feeling very well (either because I was still super hungover from my weekend bender or my body wanted to subsist only on alcohol and food pissed it off), so I figured the sooner we got all the big rides out of the way, the better. I made it through all of them until we got to the Screamer, the big wheel that goes upside down. My stomach doth protest too much on that one. After the Screamer, I decided we should eat some lunch. BAD CALL. Immediately after eating, it all came up. Unfortunate, considering how expensive it was. I felt really ill at this point, so the next hour or two was spent drinking a variety of different beverages (non-alcoholic beverages, LAME, and dippin' dots coke floats) and walking around Pioneer Village. You heard me, PIONEER VILLAGE. That's Utah for you, implementing mormon history into an AMUSEMENT PARK. What a perfect day to celebrate pie 'n beer day though, right?



POSSIBLY THE MOST EXCITING EXHIBIT!



Wow. Shoes.

And then, we found possibly the least visited place in the entirety of Lagoon.



THE TELEPHONE MUSEUM. Man oh man was it the ULTIMATE. We stayed in there for probably five minutes! I sat in the telephone booth and Gabe locked me in. It was unpleasant. After our wild time at the telephone museum, we headed over to a real pioneer cabin! It was dismal. I dared Gabe to crawl over the fence separating us from the furniture and take a pretend nap on the bed, but in the process his pants ripped and I told him that he probably would set off some silent trip-alarm.

After our fun pioneer times, we visited the red elk.



Yakul!!!

I started to feel better at this point, so we started going on more rides. I wanted to start off with kiddy rides, which Gabe refused to ride with me, so I rode some by myself. Some people might view that as pathetic, some people (like me) might view it as badass. After those rides, I finally convinced Gabe to go on an awesome looking water ride called Odysea with me.



My favorite is the fish with the upset face in the bottom right hand corner.

We got super lame, however, because neither of us wanted to get wet (which is why we didn't go on Rattlesnake Rapids), so we skipped out of line. Instead we went on the skyride.





Which took us over to the other side of the park, so we could try the new ride, Air Race. It's a ride where you're in an airplane that spins you around in circles AND spins you around upside down while you're going in circles! It really made me feel like throwing up again. I'm glad I rode it, though. After Air Race, we went on the ferris wheel.





Gabe spun us around like a Speedy Gonzales, which made me feel sick. AGAIN. But it was still really fun.

We went on the Tidal Wave and the swings



And laughed at inappropriately named kiddy rides



We went on a couple of more roller coasters and the Samurai and then decided to head home since we were pretty tired.

On the way home we stopped at In and Out Burger. I was going to eat In and Out, come hell or high water.



And it was delicious. Even though it made me sick, surprise surprise.

Thus ends PIE 'N BEER DAY CELEBRATIONS!