This wasn't an attack on a school, but at a nightclub specifically created for a community that requires refuge, where they are free to be themselves and should feel safe. But the shooter (I refuse to say his name, he doesn't deserve recognition) shattered that ideal when he armed himself with a pistol and an assault rifle, a gun that has no business being sold to the public, and two full magazines before stepping into Pulse and beginning his murderous rampage. There was a three hour standoff between the shooter and the police before it was over. A horrendous three hours where people survived through miraculous means - hiding, disguising themselves, playing dead - before police were able to rescue them.
The story shocks, sickens, saddens, horrifies, and disgusts. It is truly an extreme act of hate, one that robbed the Latina, Latino, and Latinx community of Orlando of a safe place, their sanctuary. When I read the report the next day at lunch, I asked the rest of my friends and coworkers if they had heard about it, and we all bowed our heads in silence. It is unfortunately an all too common story to hear about nowadays, guns are used almost daily in horrible crimes all over the world. And it is wrong that this is the norm. We have grown desensitized to these issues, yet nothing is changing. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" is what Albert Einstein said; it may have applied more to scientific experiments in his mind, but I believe it completely resonates with this particular situation. Something needs to change and it needs to happen now.
This is a story that incorporates so many upsetting and controversial topics: gun control, homophobia, muslim extremists, terrorism, and acts of hate in general. All of it is culminating and creating something, something that is churning and boiling over as politicians grumble amongst themselves in their bare meeting rooms and courtrooms, and I hope the effect is positive. Already I've seen acts of kindness and feats of human strength that inspire me, make my heart feel hopeful. My own city, a southern Texas town filled with conservative, religious individuals, hosted a candlelight vigil for the fallen last night and lit the bridge with rainbow lights to convey our support and love for Orlando. Similar acts of support occurred all over the globe, including the lighting of the Eiffel Tower in rainbow colors, a tribute to a victim who worked at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Florida, where scores of people raised their wands to the sky in a chilling display of light, and words of affirmation and of standing together from much of the Middle East. People have been swamping the local blood banks near Pulse when a plead for blood donors rang out in hopes of saving any of the injured rushed to the hospital after the event. Lines were so long that people were told to come back later in the week. Chick fil a, a notable anti-gay establishment, opened on Sunday (a first for many) to feed the people donating blood for the survivors of the attack.
In the aftermath of such a tragedy, it is a relief to see humans being so good to one another when we have already see how bad they can be. Unfortunately, it isn't enough. More needs to be done to change this.
I wrote this blog post not to report on the event, as I'm sure many of you who read this blog (the few there are out there) already are well aware of what happened and what is being done in the meantime to attempt to help. I wanted to write to provide myself an outlet for my feelings because, honestly, I am torn up about this. I have sadly been one of the masses who have been so hugely numbed by the violence in the world that I would write a Facebook status stating my support for their victims and their families, and then would move on. And then I would have crippling bouts of guilt; why would I write something about the Boston Marathon bombings when bombings like that occur every day in Israel? Why is France more important than something horrible occurring in Afghanistan? The answer is that it definitely isn't, and I don't feel that way, not really. But I was shocked when I learned that acts of violence were occurring in my own bubble, a bubble of safety I experience due to privilege, rather than out in places where the murder and horror occurs so often that it has become normal. Something that feels like poison on my tongue to say.
I have cried on and off about this attack, because it feels so close to home and I feel paralyzed and helpless. I am frustrated because I want so badly to help, but know that my voice is not the one that needs to be heard right now. Instead, I need to help boost the voices of others, the LGBT community that experiences this fear that an attack of pure hatred could alter their wolds forever (and it already has). I see my friends voicing their support on Facebook and feel like their words are so well orchestrated, woven effortlessly together to provide a clear insight into their opinion and what has happened, and I wish I could do the same thing. In my midst of grief and anger, all I can do is read articles about the fallen and learn about them, and learn how to help. I have decided not to post anymore about it on Facebook, not because I don't care, because I care so much, but because I know that my words of support are not the ones necessarily needed. We instead need to hear from the community that was affected, the ones who now feel like they can't be safe anywhere. Let's make the Latinx LGBT community the center of this and work to make their world safer, rather than making this "just" a story about terrorism. Although the shooter claimed that his horrible, HORRIBLE act was in the name of ISIS and declared his allegiance to them, this was in fact a case of homophobia and hate.
Now I want to provide a list of resources to help others learn about it, learn what they can do to help and how to provide support as an Ally without stepping over our LGBT sisters and brothers. As an individual, we can do what we can to help prevent this from happening again. Let's take a stand now and do what is right, even if it is not easy.
This article discusses good ways allies can help their LGBT friends. It's hard to stand by idle while something disgusting is happening, and these are good ways to provide support without accidentally making it about us. A TLDR: vote for more gun control and for gay rights, allow the LGBT community to speak and take a step back, donate blood, and check in with your own loved ones that may have been affected by this tragedy - are they doing okay? Are they eating enough?
Donate to the GoFundMe account that has broken records, raising over $4 million in a matter of days from 92,000 donors. Anything helps and it will provide funeral costs, shipping over bodies overseas to international families, and will pay hospital bills.
Anderson Cooper's tribute video to the victims. Learn their names and their histories (the article at the beginning of this blog post is also a good resource) and know that they were all stunning humans with hopes and dreams for the future. Celebrate their lives.
Stephen Colbert makes a good point about the "national script" that we all go through before promptly "forgetting" about these horrible events. It's definitely something to think about - how will we break free from this "script" in order to actually make a change, an impact?
Another great article about how allies can help out in this time of need.
Another reaction video where Trevor from the Daily Show makes a plea to strengthen gun control and to implement restrictions that will hopefully help to prevent such terrible actions.
And finally, my own city's vigil in the wake of the shooting. There are some lovely photos, and some of my friends are pictured. There will always be those who love and help in times such as these.
I want to end this post with something beautiful I heard about while perusing the internet today. During a vigil in Orlando where the names of the 49 victims were being read aloud, 49 birds flew overhead. An anonymous person attending the vigil saw them, took a photo, and later counted the birds. 49 birds, 49 victims, 49 souls flying overhead. The fallen were there with the mourning families and friends, providing a sense of peace as they grieved.
