The story begins on a Wednesday afternoon, when Anna, Megan, and I all piled into Megan's Dodge Intrepid after our classes were cleaned up and our owls fed. We were on a journey, a journey to IOWA. And then Nebraska. Two midwestern states I'd never even thought about visiting in my life, and I was going to them. We spent the car ride singing, dancing to Breathe Carolina and Ke$ha, and snacking on carmelitas.
We also saw a sundog (though you can't see it so much in this picture)
The first part of our adventure that day began with us entering the fabled metropolis of Minneapolis (well, actually it's real) in an attempt to drop off kestrel boxes to a man named Tom. It was so stressful that I had acid reflux reactions every ten minutes during our circumnavigation of the maze.
(ps this is a kestrel box and here is where you can find more info about this project)
Since I've been living in the woods for a couple of months now, I react to city life in the way a rodent reacts to a large, predatory animal. I get ridiculously stressed and feel unnerved while surrounded by tall buildings and traffic and noise and so many people. BUT there is a part of me that is still a city girl, because as we passed through the obvious college portion of town (old brick buildings with people our age filing out of them, bagel stores on every block, a local coffee shop with people on their macs), I missed it. I miss college; the campus, the cafes, the way that everything useful is grouped together conveniently or in line for drop-off by some sort of public transportation. That's how I felt as we weaved in and out of streets, trying to find Tom and his sketch underground parking garage he wanted us to meet him in. While parked at a red light, we saw some bros beelining for our car, at which point Megan slowly and nonchalantly locked all the doors in her car. It turns out that they were just going to their own car (a giant, gas-guzzling hummer that towered over us), but it was still really funny. We got lost twice on campus, and when we were about to leave and tell Tom that it was OVER and we were DONE trying to find his terrifying parking garage, he called us and gave us explicit directions. Which is when we accidentally went across a bridge leading us even further away from campus and towards downtown Minneapolis. WHAT WAS HAPPENING??? In the end, we finally found Tom. I saw a man standing on a street corner in front of the parking garage that "Tom" had suggested we meet him at and made a terrifying face at him, because I knew in my heart that it was Tom and that we hated him for making us explore the city and giving us high blood pressure. What I didn't know is how well he could see me and that he most definitely was staring at me as we continued to make eye contact for the next three seconds. While I was still making the face. THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT I WILL NEVER SEE TOM AGAIN, RIGHT? We quickly exchanged the boxes and info for our cash (he gave us ten extra dolla, which is awesome) and he made some weird joke about being a scientist that we forced ourselves to laugh at and then we left. We made like priests and got the hell out of there.
On our way out of Minneapolis, we found ourselves on their frat row. Gross. There was a car full of frat bros making faces at us (what was it about this day and making faces, who even knows). Not sure if they were attempting a mating ritual or just being jerks, but we just knew in our hearts that they were going to try and pull out of their drive-way in front of us, cutting us off. Megan was not about to let that happen. She revved her engines and, as soon as the van in front of us inched forward, shot after it like a cheetah on speed. The bros were incredibly pissed and FLIPPED. US. OFF. So we flipped them off back and jeered at them, especially since a) they were coming out of a driveway, they would have been cutting US off and b) THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE BEHIND US. Idiocy. As we drove away, we screeched our war cry, "WE LIVE IN THE WOOOOOODS!" We finally escaped the city and were back on the road.
The rest of the trip was mostly us chatting with me periodically saying, "I'mma take a nap", dipping down for a quick zizz, and then shooting up a few minutes later with something to pipe in to the conversation happening up front. AKA I never got a nap in. We visited a gas station in Ames, Iowa (we'll talk more about Ames later. Oh Ames, you and I are not on speaking terms) where they sold delicious wine from Megan's old winery that she used to work at and we picked up a bottle of Rhuby Dooby, delicious strawberry rhubarb wine. We also went to a gas station shaped like a giant barn that was pretty intense. I took Megan and Anna's picture outside of it, since they are from the midwest. We stopped at Jimmy John's for dinner and had an awkward encounter with the cashier where he said, "See you all later" and I said loudly, "No, never see you again" at which point he looked at us and we walked away quickly. My favorite part of our drive was when we were driving down the interstate. It was completely deserted and dark, until we rounded a corner and saw a beautiful tree lit up with strings of white lights. It stood alone in a field at the side of the highway, illuminating the space around it with an otherworldly glow. It filled all of our hearts with such happiness; it truly was magical. I called it the glow tree for the rest of our trip.
picture from weheartit
A couple of hours later, we arrived at Megan's house. We got to meet Eppy, the big brown bat that lives in her garage! He was SO CUTE! I attempted to get a picture of him with my phone, but it turned out really bad. His name is Eppy for the latin name, Eptesicus fuscus, which is awesome. We visited with him for awhile until he ignored us and flew outside, which is when we were able to go inside and play with WELSH. CORGIS. I had so much dog therapy this Thanksgiving, it was awesome. Anna's dad had weirdly decided to come pick us up at Megan's house rather than having us stay the night and then meet up with her family, so we once again piled into a car after bidding Megan goodbye and headed for Omaha, which was about three hours away. At this point, it was 10 PM and I was exhausted. I immediately passed out in the backseat.
When we arrived at Anna's house, I met her sister, her mom, and her DOGS (I told you, dog therapy). And then I promptly went to my room, crept into bed, threw open the window (I was boiling hot), and passed out. T-minus six hours until waking up for Thanksgiving.
The next day was THANKSGIVING!!! We had another long drive ahead of us to Anna's aunt and uncle's farmhouse in Iowa, so I prepared by drinking orange juice and playing with her dogs.
Thanksgiving dinner/lunch whatever was delicious: mashed potatoes (a staple), turkey, some sort of yummy asian salad, mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows, rolls, and WINE. As soon as we arrived, everyone introduced themselves and then offered me a bloody mary, and when I said I didn't like bloody maries (marys? I'm not sure what the proper term for multiples of this drink is), they gave me so much shit. It made me feel right at home, actually :) My family teases relentlessly and sometimes makes me cry (sometimes), but I love them for it (not for the making me cry part). Finally, her grandfather gave me a beer. At ten in the morning. It was awesome. After Thanksgiving lunch, Anna and I were good and drunk. So we decided to go on a walk with a random dog we found on the porch (just kidding, it belonged to her cousin).
I loved the freckles on his muzzle, such a sweetheart
And toothy grins.
And velvet, curly ears. I am smitten with spaniels.
We explored the creek next to the house, down a rolling hill filled with prairie grass. The house itself is old and has been in their family for generations, so the creek beds are filled with various items thrown down there throughout time. People treated it like their personal dump, which turned into our treasure hunt. We slipped down muddy banks and saw raccoon tracks dotting logs surrounding the water.
We found huge, plate-like fungus.
And natural-made terrariums.
We found a myriad of furniture: glasses, pitchers, shoes, dishes, a barber's knife sharpening stone, a refrigerator, a rusted out bathtub, and once Anna told me she and her sister found a typewriter. I wanted to find it again, but it was buried beneath the landslide of kitchen appliances and dish-ware. My favorite find was a perfectly intact glass rooster.
I am, of course, an environmental educator who strongly believes that we shouldn't throw trash into our creeks, but it made for an interesting afternoon. Especially that traversing steep banks while drunk part. I almost fell into the river many a time.
Then we came back for pie.
This is when I decided that I was far too tired and drunk to go on remaining conscious anymore, so I passed out on the floor in the living room. I woke up an hour later to partake in lemondrop martinis.
I said hi to this little one, who was trapped for the remainder of our meal.
At one point, her uncle offered us a maraschino cherry out of a mason jar. I cooed, "Ooh, I LOVE maraschino cherries!" and popped one into my mouth. It was most definitely NOT a maraschino cherry. They once were maraschino cherries that had been soaking in 100% moonshine for the past 24 hours, apparently. We gagged and punched him in the arm.
A good Thanksgiving away from home! The next day we decided to go to the nature center that Anna used to work at, Fontanelle Forest! It sounds like a fairy-tale forest, in my opinion. I love alliteration.
A hackberry tree, which can be remembered because its bark looks like it's been hacked up by an axe.
I love old school nature center signs. Oh, the 70s.
This tree was full-grown when the constitution was signed. It's over 130 years old.
After our hike, we explored the archives of animals, live and dead.
Then we found a gremlin.
The most adorable gremlin I've ever seen.
Gremlin enrichment
I could not stop cooing over her, she was so adorable and curious.
After Fontanelle, we went to go get some pizza!
There's nothing better than feeling like you deserve a slice of pizza after walking around in the cold all morning. After pizza, we walked around downtown and explored shop after shop.
I felt sort of grungy walking around in my holey jeans, marshmallow down jacket, and oversized Alaska hat with only one tassle while the rest of the city-goers wore their skinny jeans, cute boots, and scarves. By the end of our stay, I was getting back into the city groove and was wanting my boots and Sargent Pepper coat back, but I was also homesick for the woods.
We had dinner with Anna's grandparents and afterwards decided to go out on the town. We had so much fun. I forgot how fun a city can be, as well as its nightlife. We had an epic bar crawl that involved a persistent suitor who was drunk off his ass, a video-game themed bar where I had a Princess Peach themed beverage and we played Super Mario Bros, a terrible Pink Floyd cover band whose media manager could not figure out Windows Media Player for the life of him, and finally the Homey Inn (which I thought was the Horny Inn) where there was champagne on tap, the bartender bought us jagerbombs, and we played Battleship at the bar. It was an amazing night. I distinctly remember singing "Africa" loudly along with the rest of the bar patrons and then attempting to get the jukebox to play "Chains of Love", but instead it stole my money from me. When we got back to Anna's house, Frank (her cairn terrier), was curled up on my bed, so I drunkenly curled up around him and then passed out.
The next day was Anna's sister's birthday, so we spent it shopping a little more for Christmas presents (and art supplies...) and then went back to Old Market to go to a pub for dinner. We walked around to see the Christmas lights and window displays and then headed back to Anna's house for some rest before we headed home in the morning.
Now comes THE WEIRD DAY. As we drove home, we decided that it would be a brilliant idea to stop in Ames, Iowa for lunch. Not just any lunch, but JIMMY JOHN'S. We were dead set on Jimmy John's. So I found the nearest location to us, which happened to be at a mall. Anna headed off to go to the restroom (which was in JC Penny's) while I sat down to eat my sandwich. Twenty minutes later, I was done with my sandwich and my drink and Anna was still missing. Just as I was about to call her, she called me and I immediately asked if something was wrong. "Um, I flushed the keys down the toilet." WHAT? The keys fell out of her pocket as she bent over to flush and then they got sucked down, down into oblivion. I walked over to the store in a state of disbelief with her sandwich in hand, completely in shock by the situation. The help desk people in the store were amazingly helpful, I'm so grateful at least that they were there to help us in our hour of need. They called literally EVERYONE that they knew to see if they could help us, but the bad news was that it was Sunday in the midwest and nothing was open. So we were stuck in Ames for the night until we could get a key made the next morning. When we realized that there was nothing else we could do, we started laughing hysterically. One of the employees (who, it turns out, is friends with Megan!) offered to give us a ride to a hotel that was next to a Mexican restaurant with 42 oz. margaritas, suggesting that we drink a couple that night. And drink we did. I finished my Monster Margarita and was good for the rest of the night. After our delicious dinner, we went to see Life of Pi! So basically it wasn't that bad to be stranded in Ames, even though I would have rather been home. The next day we got a key made in under half an hour; it was a completely painless process that just couldn't occur because it was Sunday the day before. We were on the road by 10 AM. We got the day off since there was no way we could make it to work in time, so we sort of took our time on the way home and got Panera for breakfast. WE DESERVED IT.
Thus ends Thanksgiving Break 2012. Now it's time for Christmas! I just got home today and tonight am going to see Maddie! So excited to see everyone and spend time with my fam. If I'm not on again before the 25th...
MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS - N*SYNC
