Whenever I think of the future, I think about the Spongebob episode SB-129. Squidward's reaction to the future (where EVERYTHING is chrome!) is to lay down on the floor and begin repeating "future" in a strained voice while doing what appear to be sit-ups.
I would call it a mental breakdown.
I handle thoughts of the future much like Squidward.
Today I had a productive chat with the graduate student I work with about the future. We discussed the possibilities of what I could do with myself once school was over; basically work or more school. It's just so surreal to think that all of my life has been leading to this moment: college. Honestly, I hadn't really thought about looking much farther in the forward direction because college was so far away. Not anymore. I am now a junior in college and on track to graduate in three more semesters. I am very much a live in the now person, which makes it easy to think that I have plenty of time to decide. However, as my parents keep reminding me, I can't always do this and have to start planning for the future.
My family sort of has this habit of living vicariously through me (my dad especially), and they also have a habit of being a little...pretentious. They scoffed at the idea of me being an animal trainer when I thought that I would want to do that with my life. To be fair, it really wasn't a great idea for me to go into animal training anyways due to a number of reasons, the number one reason being that I was fifteen at the time that I thought this. Anyways, when I mentioned that I might not want to go to graduate school, my dad told me that then I could never be a true scientist and my grandfather asked me what else I would do with my time. Like a typical wayward college student, I answered, "I don't know. Work. Live." He asked me what that meant. I just don't want to do anything that makes me unhappy, and spending a majority of my twenties in a stressful program that might not lead me to my ultimate happiness just seems extremely daunting.
I asked my graduate student what she thought. She told me to do what I wanted and to be happy. It's so simple. I don't find pleasure in the thought of running my own lab or being a professor at a university. I still don't quite know what I do want, but I know that I like to teach in informal settings, like the outdoors. I like to study things and work on research projects if I am being supervised so that I know that I won't royally screw up. I like to do a lot of things that don't have to do with biology as well. So really, there are tons of opportunities for me. I just have to remember this.
Basically my grad student told me to take a break from college after it's over and live. Work and experience the real world. Make decisions based on that rather than what I hear from others. She told me that I should email people in positions similar to what I want to do and ask them how they got there, credentials, etc. She settled my fears about a lot of things, like letters of recommendation and pleasing everyone. So far I know one thing for sure: I am taking a break after college. It might be a year, it might be a year and a half. Maybe I'll go wild and take TWO years off. Maybe I'll never go to graduate school, like everyone wants me to. All I need to think about is making myself happy.
I really like the idea of working here or here :) Either one would be amazing and AN ADVENTURRRREEEE!!!
I might still need someone to do this to me though
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